Laugh Out Loud

(Be aware that this post will waste a couple minutes of your life)

It was my sophomore or junior year of high school. Al Gore's invention, the world wide web, was just catching on. It was those times, when it was tolerable to wait two to five minutes for your computer to dial up and connect to the internet. Those who had email accounts had one of two servers. The cheapskates went with Juno (not the movie), while those who were willing to spend a little $, or didn't want to hear their teenagers complain, had American Online. Instant messaging was then, what texting is now. Countless hours were spent online talking to friends and strangers in chatrooms. (Mind you, this was before all those skeezeballs from dateline "to trap a predator" realized how to use the internet to start jailbait relationships.)

Anyway, one afternoon a group of us girls were at a friend's house. We decided to go online and talk in one of those chatrooms. I remember coming in and out of the computer room, reading the conversation. Finally, after several minutes, I posed the question, "Who is LOL? And why does this person keep talking about him?". Immediately, the girls started laughing at me and explained that "LOL" wasn't a guy but an abbreviation that stood for "Laugh out Loud."

Flash forward to today, over ten years later, and I see that abbreviation almost everyday. For the most part its with people, girls more specifically, eighteen years or younger. To be quite frank, if anyone of my friends or family, nineteen years or older started using this as a standard tag line, then I would probably distance myself from them. So, as a handy dandy resource, I've decided to come up with a collective list of "LOL" etiquette. (Taken from my real life experiences). When and when not to use "LOL".

A Few Examples of When Not to Use "LOL":

1. Never end a sentence with a preposition or LOL.
Me: I'm running late, I'll be there in ten minutes.
Texter: Its okay. LOL.

(I mean did it really warrant a Laugh out Loud? Is that person really laughing out Loud that I'm running Late?)

2. Never use LOL as a follow up to a joke YOU just told. Ever. Its up to the second party to decide whether or not, said joke, is worthy of a LOL. (And if you ever tell me a joke, hope you're not look for LOL affirmation...cause it'll never EVER happen.)

3. When texting back and forth with another person, don't ever use one of your texts with just the letters "LOL."
Me: I just saw the dark knight, what about watching another movie?
Texter: LOL.

(What?! First you didn't even answer my question. Secondly, you inconsiderate FOOL, you just wasted one of my available texts! Texts don't grow on little magic text trees in cell phone land. Someone has to pay for it!)

A Few Examples of When to Use "LOL":
1. Never
2. Neverever
3. NEVEREVEREVER

In a day and age where America is getting more dumb by the minute, where we are being surpassed in education by many other countries, lets push ourselves to come up with more creative ways to express what we are thinking or feeling. Like using real, unabbreviated words.

I blame Al Gore for this.