so, its been awhile. summer, in all its hot, hot glory, has always had the tendency to pass so quick. here i sit, the beginning of august, thinking how it seems like only a week ago, I was packing for my memorial day weekend trip.
however, i wear this summer like an old pair of jeans...loving the comfort of the familiarity. but in the same breath, hating the holes. the rips. those very things, which make the comfort, uncomfortable. yes, i've been able to do those things that make summer, summer.... the amusement park, canoeing, outdoor concerts, fireworks, late nights around a bonfire. but this summer, has also been chocked full of hard and ugly news, and bittersweet goodbyes.
one of my most talented friends found out he has a brain tumor. another dear precious friend, watches as his mother gracefully, yet painfully, battles liver cancer. another friend has to go through a divorce. and my best friend and her husband, just moved half way around the world.
who decided that the summer of 2009 would be one to suck? can't i please send it back and get, i dunno, maybe the summer 1999? (where the biggest obstacle i had was making cold calls to those strangers that i would call my "freshman year roommates"?) that was a good summer of relaxation. i'd even take the summer of 2002. i got my sisters jeep wrangler as my summer transportation. i mean, who could hate a summer when you're driving a jeep?! really.
yet, today, i've constantly been reminded that i serve a SOVEREIGN SAVIOR, i have to take stupid summer '09 and praise HIM regardless. scratch that. i GET to praise HIM regardless. praise GOD because it seems that HE has designed a brain tumor to RE-AWAKEN A LIFE PURPOSE. HE has used liver cancer to SAVE A LIFE ETERNALLY. HE has used a divorce to HUMBLE. HE has used a bold move to germany to give example of what it looks like to follow in OBEDIENCE.
these are testaments to the crazy God i serve. He doesn't always make sense to me, but if he was always rational and logical, then our lives would be predictable, subpar, and boring. let's face it, that doesn't sound like a god i'd follow.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
you know.....
so i was having a conversation with a dear friend that i've known for about 15 years. after awhile, she noted how random my train of thought can be. i'm wondering why she's just picking up on this...
if you haven't watched slumdog millionaire, you should. i loved it so much i purchased the soundtrack, and it is now the soundtrack to my life. i would also like to adopt all those little kids. we'll play all day and never grown old.
as far as growing old for me i'm fearful it is too late. i worked late yesterday and got to softball right before it started. i didn't have time to stretch. poop. my first up to bat, i hit it out to right field and sprinted to first base. somewhere in between me dropping my bat and stopping on first base, my left quad decided to revolt. i hurt.
(p.s. don't tell my team, but until this spring, i've only play organized softball one summer, when i was 10. i would have played the following summer, but the next age level included fast pitch. you know those crazy windmill pitches. i valued my limbs too much.)
the finale of lost is tonight. part of me is apprehensive because of the high probability of a super huge cliff hanger. the rest of me is nausea. (but the good kind. like in high school, when i had a big game and was super excited yet also, equally super nervous.)
i used to be madly in love with the american dream. you know everyone deserves there piece of the pie, right? not anymore. i find myself digressing farther away from that whole concept. everyday, i find myself fighting to not get sucked into the whole rat race. some days, i fail horribly. and those days when i feel like i've succeeded...i can only chalk it up to the wisdom and strength God continues to give me.
spent this past saturday with my parents working outside in their yard. now i have poison ivy smack dab in the middle of my forehead. that only happens to me.
recently found out that a large ice cappuccino from tim hortons (my choice of beverage during the summer) has 20 grams of fat. needless to say, it USE to be my beverage of choice. thanks a lot canada.
emoticons. they scare me.
SO looking forward to memorial day weekend spent in chicago with old friends. equally looking forward to spending the following weekend in nyc. i always laugh the hardest when i'm with those who are the dearest.
also looking forward to apex jr./sr. high summer camp. this year i made sure to reserve a week of vacation for it. practical jokes? yes please.
sometimes i daydream about living like the boxcar kids and/or the swiss family robinsons lived. i'm jealous.
if you haven't watched slumdog millionaire, you should. i loved it so much i purchased the soundtrack, and it is now the soundtrack to my life. i would also like to adopt all those little kids. we'll play all day and never grown old.
as far as growing old for me i'm fearful it is too late. i worked late yesterday and got to softball right before it started. i didn't have time to stretch. poop. my first up to bat, i hit it out to right field and sprinted to first base. somewhere in between me dropping my bat and stopping on first base, my left quad decided to revolt. i hurt.
(p.s. don't tell my team, but until this spring, i've only play organized softball one summer, when i was 10. i would have played the following summer, but the next age level included fast pitch. you know those crazy windmill pitches. i valued my limbs too much.)
the finale of lost is tonight. part of me is apprehensive because of the high probability of a super huge cliff hanger. the rest of me is nausea. (but the good kind. like in high school, when i had a big game and was super excited yet also, equally super nervous.)
i used to be madly in love with the american dream. you know everyone deserves there piece of the pie, right? not anymore. i find myself digressing farther away from that whole concept. everyday, i find myself fighting to not get sucked into the whole rat race. some days, i fail horribly. and those days when i feel like i've succeeded...i can only chalk it up to the wisdom and strength God continues to give me.
spent this past saturday with my parents working outside in their yard. now i have poison ivy smack dab in the middle of my forehead. that only happens to me.
recently found out that a large ice cappuccino from tim hortons (my choice of beverage during the summer) has 20 grams of fat. needless to say, it USE to be my beverage of choice. thanks a lot canada.
emoticons. they scare me.
SO looking forward to memorial day weekend spent in chicago with old friends. equally looking forward to spending the following weekend in nyc. i always laugh the hardest when i'm with those who are the dearest.
also looking forward to apex jr./sr. high summer camp. this year i made sure to reserve a week of vacation for it. practical jokes? yes please.
sometimes i daydream about living like the boxcar kids and/or the swiss family robinsons lived. i'm jealous.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
A little late...
Here are pictures from my trip to Seattle/Tacoma in November 2008.
On Saturday Brown and I ventured downtown Seattle....
On Sunday we decided to go climb Mount Rainier. Unfortunately, the mountain was closed because of lots of rainfall the prior week. Instead, we climbed High Rock Pass.
Just for those wondering JonBrown is still alive... This was a little one room building, built at the top of the pass...
Mount Rainier in all its glory... I panted like a fat girl playing kickball, hiking up the pass. But it was so worth it when we got to the top.
The trip was perfect timing.
On Saturday Brown and I ventured downtown Seattle....
On Sunday we decided to go climb Mount Rainier. Unfortunately, the mountain was closed because of lots of rainfall the prior week. Instead, we climbed High Rock Pass.
Just for those wondering JonBrown is still alive... This was a little one room building, built at the top of the pass...
Mount Rainier in all its glory... I panted like a fat girl playing kickball, hiking up the pass. But it was so worth it when we got to the top.
The trip was perfect timing.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Living Every Moment.
My house church has been going through Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Get your hands on a copy, read it and if you are truly open to what is says, I believe God will radically change the way you view your life, in light of eternity. Last night we discussed chapter 2 which could be summed up in one word, "death". It's a very sobering topic. How many of us think that we have at least another 20 years to live...if not 30 or 40? Now think about how many of us have known of someone who died long before they were "expected" to die. Life is, indeed, a vapor.
James 4:13-17 says 13Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." 14Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." 16As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. 17Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."
I know for myself, I've heard and read that passage so many times and think, "yeah, that's a good point." But never do I think I've truly applied that concept to my life before now. But now, how disgusted I am with myself, that I've been living my life so flippantly. By no means, do I think that I've been completely numb to the things of God. But it's been coupled with a silent arrogance that wreaks of my self reliance and utter stupidity.
Tim McGraw sang that awful cheesy song a couple years ago "Live Like You Were Dying". How many of us really live that way? If a song was written about my life I fear it would read like "I live my life like I'm going to die at some point, many, many years from now."
Watch this: Clayton's Story
I also urge to you check out this link and listen to the "Living a Life that Matters Series" It's been a huge challenge.
From here on out, may I live my life constantly reminded that God doesn't promise us an earthly tomorrow. I have only this moment to show the love of Christ to others.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
treats, testimonials, and trust
i can't sleep. the pressure of the impending arrival of my alarm clock, coupled with knowing that i'm losing sweet, precious, glorious sleep is driving me straight loco.
tonight, for the first time, i dipped my yogurt covered pretzels into peanut butter. amazingness. you should try it.
one of the books i'm reading is about my favorite artist, van gogh. there is a lot that i'm learning about him, but most intriguing and challenging, thus far, is that early on in his life, van gogh started to devoutly study and preach the scripture. he became a missionary and had a heart for the poor (that later radiated throughout his work.) he gave up his possessions, ate poorly, and lived in a one room shanty, trying to emulate a lifestyle that would encompass something similar to Christ's. the church later terminated his service because he was too zealous and his drastic actions bordered insanity. i wonder if he was truly insane or he just got what living life was all about: complete and utter surrender of our comfort, of our schedules, of our habits for the sake of bring glory to the LORD of lords and loving others like Christ would.
i'm also going through john with some beautiful ladies. tonight i read 3:30 which states "He must become greater; i must become less". for me, that's a minute by minute battle, trying to shrug off those things which would bring me momentary acclaim, rather than proclaiming the eternal message of LOVE and GRACE of Christ.
i'm wrestling with the concept of trust. i've always been a trusting person. more times than not, i've trusted first, giving the benefit of the doubt. unfortunately, with recently and seemingly, constant mistrust, i find my heart calloused to the concept of complete trust. wondering if it'll only be reserved for a few....or if i'll ever be able to completely trust again.
so much more i want to talk about, but i'll save that for later. hopefully i'm standing on the cusp of sweet, precious, glorious sleep.
tonight, for the first time, i dipped my yogurt covered pretzels into peanut butter. amazingness. you should try it.
one of the books i'm reading is about my favorite artist, van gogh. there is a lot that i'm learning about him, but most intriguing and challenging, thus far, is that early on in his life, van gogh started to devoutly study and preach the scripture. he became a missionary and had a heart for the poor (that later radiated throughout his work.) he gave up his possessions, ate poorly, and lived in a one room shanty, trying to emulate a lifestyle that would encompass something similar to Christ's. the church later terminated his service because he was too zealous and his drastic actions bordered insanity. i wonder if he was truly insane or he just got what living life was all about: complete and utter surrender of our comfort, of our schedules, of our habits for the sake of bring glory to the LORD of lords and loving others like Christ would.
i'm also going through john with some beautiful ladies. tonight i read 3:30 which states "He must become greater; i must become less". for me, that's a minute by minute battle, trying to shrug off those things which would bring me momentary acclaim, rather than proclaiming the eternal message of LOVE and GRACE of Christ.
i'm wrestling with the concept of trust. i've always been a trusting person. more times than not, i've trusted first, giving the benefit of the doubt. unfortunately, with recently and seemingly, constant mistrust, i find my heart calloused to the concept of complete trust. wondering if it'll only be reserved for a few....or if i'll ever be able to completely trust again.
so much more i want to talk about, but i'll save that for later. hopefully i'm standing on the cusp of sweet, precious, glorious sleep.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Some of my Favorites of the Recent Past....
Getting a new $150.00 dollar rug for $40.00.
Decorating the house with said rug and a sundry of other small items I purchased.
Exploring to the depths what God is trying to teach me: what it means to truly, unbiasedly love everyone and what it means to be a follower of HIM. Which means stripping away the laws, the rules, the imposed Christian standards and resorting back to how the Bible shows we are to live and how Christ lived.
Saturday I was able to see most of my family. My birthday gift from my parents was an Ohio State quilt and it is finally finished. My mom is GREAT at a lot of things. One of them is quilt making. Another is making homemade pizza. I was fortunate to be a recipient of both that day. I also got to spend some time playing with my nieces, Grace and Bekah. Then in the evening I traveled to Columbus to watch some of my other nieces and nephews, Logan, Lauryn, Lanie, and Lucas.
Leeland Concert on Friday night. Best Christian concert ever. Leeland, has an amazing voice. But more importantly he comes across with such a sincere humbleness when leading worship. (See above picture).
Watching a documentary on PBS about George H.W. Bush. I learned a lot about his life I didn't know.
Finding amybutlerdesign.com. Love her fabric. I want to be her...but not in the weird stalker way...but in the I really admire her from a really far safe distance....
Discovering my love for Patty Griffin's lyrics and music.
Enjoying an evening of great friends, great food, and a horrible, horrible reality show, which shall remain nameless because I'm embarrassed that I waste my time watching it...(but I'm SO MAD at Jason for getting rid of Jillian.)
I renewed my love with legalsounds.com. You pay only $0.09 per song. The only downside is you first have to purchase a $25.00 credit.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Road Trip
On our flight back from a ski trip in Jackson, Wyoming, Jen (Littlefoot) and I stopped off in Dallas. Jen had moved down to Texas in February. (I like to refer to it as the great mistake of 2008.) She couldn't live without Rita's italian ice, the Thornburgs, and myself, so she moved back in the fall. (Okay, I think that her parents living up here might have played some kind of role...) However, her furniture and some of her belongings were residing in Dallas. So with the help of her friends, we packed up a Uhaul and early Monday morning headed back to Ohio. Over 1,000 miles later, several deplorable restrooms and really shady and small gas stations we made it home. Here's a rundown by state of our trip.
Texas: Boring to drive through. But rather enjoyable if you're in the passenger's seat sleeping.
Arkansas: It's state motto is "the natural state". ..Didn't really find anything natural there... Except for natural hill-jacks. Jen was also pulled over by a State Trooper for going left of the yellow line. Really??! On a ridiculously windy day?? Driving a big uhaul?? You're going to tell me that you can do it perfectly without ever crossing over a line? Jen and I were split up and both interrogated. Here are a sampling of questions: "Where did you live?", Where do you live now?", "How do you know her?", "What job did you have in Dallas?", "What were you doing in Wyoming?", "Why are you're pupils constricted?", "Have you been taking drugs?", "Do you have any drugs or firearms in the back?", "Are you crying?" For the record, Jen wasn't crying, her eyes were watering from standing out in the blasted cold wind. Luckily, she wasn't ticketed....and they didn't open the back to find all the illegal immigrants we were smuggling. Hey, they never asked us specifically....
Tennessee: Within 30 miles of entering Tennessee, I passed 10 different Highway patrolmen. It's evident that Tennessee hasn't felt the brunt of the economic recession, because the Troopers ride in tinted, pimped out, unmarked, white or black SUVs. Out of our trip it felt like we were in Tennessee 15.5 of the 16 hours that we were actually on the road. We also got stuck in dead stopped traffic in Nashville for over an hour.
Kentucky: By the time we rolled into Kentucky it was 9p.m. and it seemed to be when Jen and I had the most energy and were the most alert. But who wouldn't want to air guitar and seat dance when FREEBIRD is playing??? We drove right through the line of the ice storm that happened five days prior. It was so eerie to be driving on the interstate and see so many downed trees.
Ohio: Such a beautiful thing to be back in Ohio after being on the road for a straight nineteen hours.
Conclusion: No accidents. No fights. A couple of good conversations. One broken iPod that catapulted us into the fate of the deplorable Clearstation radio empire. Resulting in Two ridiculous Creed songs, three Tracy Chapman songs, countless plays of "Love Song" by Taylor Swift and "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz (which coincidently, I have loved for sometime, but since am now contemplating NOT being his.)
I love taking road trips with friends, especially where silence can be shared and it be okay. More importantly, I love my friend, Jen Troyer, and am happy she's completely back in Ohio.
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